Jamielookingforlove's Blog

A film trailer all about my search for love

jamielookingforlove — Mon, 17 May 2010 14:36:58 +0000

My life really isn’t easy and now they’ve gone and made it into a film! All about my flirting disasters, love life, social life, sex life, no life ! Here is a trailer of the film

And in the meantime here is to getting lucky

Does size matter? I’m a small man myself.

jamielookingforlove — Mon, 10 May 2010 21:23:10 +0000

Does size matter? It’s a question guys constantly ask. Is bigger better or is it just a matter of what you do with it? Personally I think the whole conversation is way overated. I mean there are pro’s and con’s to both. Sure a big one can be more impressive, make girls and guys double take, and be the subject of much conversation, but they can be sluggish and cumbersome too, get in the way and even cause problems when you trying to park. But if your small and nimble, you can get in and out easier, freestyle a little bit, and generally be bit a quicker, which I actually think is important. Sure some people want to take their time and pose a little, show their prowess off if you like, but I am straight A to B man, slip in and slip out. I don’t actually care if people laugh at me because it’s small as long as it does the job. Ok so what about the girl you ask, is she going to be satisfied? Will she laugh at it because it’s small. That depends on you, your personality and of course what you do with it. I’ve given plenty of girls the ride of their life with my little baby. Sure if I had a v12 monster, that just roared into life, that made girls shudder at the mere thought of it, like and Aston Martin, I wouldn’t say no. But at the moment I haven’t got one, and until I can afford to get a bigger one I’m sticking with my trusty little Fiat Panda.

Size doesn't matter

So what’s the deal with paying to go to the toilet!!

jamielookingforlove — Fri, 07 May 2010 20:52:15 +0000

In a British pub of all places!! Look here at what happened to me this weekend. I was dying to take a leak in a nearly local pub of mine, rushed in to the toilets (which were out of order so I didn’t even get to go !!) and when I came out some dude dressed in shirt and bow tie wanted to charge me a pound for the privilege of a paper towel and a spray of aftershave!! When I said no to the ‘Bog Troll’ (I’ve since found out they are called) he went all Bruce Lee/Jackie Chan on me and I had to kung fu my way out of the situation. I know that Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Tweedy (now Cheryl Cole) was fined for assaulting a toilet attendant, Sophie Amogbokpa, in a Guildford nightclub a few years back, so I had to be careful and not go too far!! You know my hands can be lethal weapons when threatened and weapons of love if I ever get my hands on the right girl!

Anyhow he didn’t get a pound in the end, but my cock ring (hee hee shame I hadn’t yet had a chance to use it though ) actually I didn’t mean to say it like that! I don’t need to use one!! I just keep it on me in case of emergencies, for friends not me of course.

The Art of Flirting…is a load of twaddle..

jamielookingforlove — Wed, 05 May 2010 07:52:35 +0000

According to some it’s an art form, according to others it’s a matter of technique and according to others its down to the oomph factor..and the list goes on. There are so many do’s and don’t to flirting and hundreds of books and clubs and articles about the subject it’s sometimes hard to know where to begin. Play it cool or go in for the kill..smile or be mysterious..Personally whenever I try to flirt I get called a weirdo, a sleaze, a looser and the list goes on. Touchy feely almost always equates to sleazy gropy, eye contact usually turns into a staring competition, flattery turns into some sort of corny chat up line, repeating someone’s name into are you retarded and whenever I try and do the one thing that they all advise ‘Just be yourself’ well that certainly doesn’t work..

Which makes me wonder is all this flirting advice a waste of time. I mean if you’re a natural hunk or babe you’re always going to have the one up on someone who is less attractive, same as if you’re rich and famous, unless you’re a complete stiff and my mum and stepdad think the same. They often say stop dreaming son and get real and get a perspective i.e like equates like. That’s why they want me to marry my next door neighbour Laura!! But I just can’t seem to fall in love with her..I’ve read somewhere that you can learn to love someone, but just not sure how to go about that? I mean I guess if I buy a blindfold, wear ear plugs, cut off my hands so I don’t have to touch her, that might work, but I think it’s a bit extreme! The thing is my mum and Derek (stepdad) are moving back to Australia and they’ve made me a deal (as my mum so wants grand children) if I marry Laura they will leave us the house!! In a way it’s a bit like marrying for money..like a gold digger. I just can’t decide whether I should do it..I’ve also just come across a Flirting Club where this teacher (Miriam I think her name is) says she can teach you how to meet someone. The thing is, this brings me back to what I said earlier. She might be able to teach me how to meet someone but at the end of the day, that someone I will want to chat up or meet, is always going to be a babe (like my boss Lydia) and no matter what I do she’s never going to be attracted to me! So what’s the point? Apples attract apples, pears attract pears and prunes attract prunes. Unless of course your a prune but you’ve got something that say an apple wants, a bit like Paul Mcartney and Heather Mills, and look what happened there!! He ended up with a rotten apple..

So this is Laura..what do you think?

Should I marry this girl?

When One Night Stand’s go wrong…

jamielookingforlove — Mon, 03 May 2010 07:11:47 +0000

Ok so I’m not proud of myself. But this weekend I had a one night stand. It was my first ever one and though it wasn’t a fully consummated affair, it came pretty close, though it seemed to be a pretty one way affair, her way not mine!! I met her in a bar, took her home and then she was just like an animal possessed, I was actually quite terrified, you can see a clip here if you want to get an idea of what I am talking about..don’t worry it’s not a sex video that you would find on pornotube, redtube, you porn or whatever those websites are that saddos visit..What’s worse is that my mum and my Stepdad Derek we’re asleep in the room next door, and half way through my one night stand (well about 20 mins in, it was more of a one hour stand or even a half hour stand if I’m honest) I went to the bathroom to psyche myself up and Derek came in to offer me advice!! She walked in on us and the stormed off in a huff. Women hey!! He was only offering me advice..If anyone else has any advice on these affairs please let me have it…

Chatting up girls on the beach…

jamielookingforlove — Sat, 01 May 2010 08:55:18 +0000

Yes it is true. As you might have gathered I’m originally from Australia so I’m used to seeing gorgeous girls in bikinis walking down beautiful white sandy beaches all the time. Ok it was quite a long time ago, I was only 10 or something so girls weren’t really on the agenda (not that boys were either!! it’s just I was busy playing with sandcastles and things like that..) Anyhow the thing is I was down on Bournemouth Beach in England (one of the best beaches in England I reckon), not Australia, the other day and it was sunny, the beach was lovely and there were hot girls!! lots of them, all in bikinis, walking about! I couldn’t believe my eyes so I had to get a closer look, if you don’t believe me you can check all the hot girls that I saw here . The thing is I was too shy to go and speak to any of them, I mean how to you go and chat up a girl on the beach? I really not some advice on how to meet girls….Is it ok to just rock up and say hi my name is Jamie, can I speak to you? or Hello, mind if I sit next to you? Or you look hot, I mean you’re getting burnt can I put some suntan lotion on your back? I mean what’s the deal with just speaking to a girl on the beach out of the blue? Any advice or words of wisdom much appreciated..

OOh and like some British girls that you may find on the beach ( I met these ones in Blackpool a few years ago), they didn’t look like this …

: British girls in bikinis!!

Ladies this is what you could get in the bedroom!!

jamielookingforlove — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 07:18:15 +0000

I just thought it would only be fair if you got to see me in the buff (hee hee not really I’m in my PJ’s got to leave something to the imagination). Oh and I’ve been working out quite a lot since this picture was taken. I’ve got bigger biceps, tricepts and hands. I’m also thinking of getting my chest shaved?

Ladies this is what you could get in the bedroom!!

QPR beat Barnsley 1 – 0

jamielookingforlove — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 05:59:15 +0000

We won, we won, we won!! Awesome news my team QPR (Queens Park rangers) beat Barnsley yesteday!! 1- 0 one nil . Well done boys!! It was Mikele Leigertwood‘s unstoppable 20-yard drive that sealed the deal!

Can’t wait for the World Cup 2010!!

My dating agency audtion.

jamielookingforlove — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 05:46:33 +0000

Ok so I admit it. I’ve decided to try a dating agency. It’s called Last Chance Dating or something.. Anyhow I had to go to their studio and they did a video of me to show to potential dates. I think it went ok, I was quite nervous as I can be quite shy. But I think it went ok. If you want to see me in action (hee hee no I don’t mean like that..) have a look at this quick video Here. It’s the start of my dating interview (If you’ve got time let me know what you think?)

Hello. It’s me Jamie

jamielookingforlove — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 04:53:52 +0000

Well I don’t know much about blogging, being a blogger or how to blog, but I thought I would give it a go. Why? Well the simple sad truth is I want to get laid! No just kidding, well not really, that would be great…:) No what I am looking for is LOVE. Yup. Simple as that! I’m 29 years old and I just can’t meet a decent woman. I’ve tried all sorts of dating techniques from, flyposting, to leaving my picture in woman’s toilets, to stalking, to cold calling (really not a good idea, you can get reported to the police you know!!), to dancing in clubs in my boxers, even singing outside a girls window (like romeo and Juliet). So far no luck! Nothing seems to be working, so I’m going to try this. I’ve also been documenting my love life on video, so I will post anything that I think is interesting on here! In the meantime if you are single and a girl please, please, please, please drop me a line.

Oh and here is a picture of me I haven’t photoshop’d it or anything…

Pretty Stylish!!